When I look back on my short span of life, I realize that most conflicts among people were created by the absence of communication. Making expressions can be a device for sympathizing with someone's emotions. People who have a large network of relationships are generally excellent in sympathizing with emotions. By sympathizing with someone¡¯s emotion, people can communicate with others very well. What ability do you have to sympathize with someone¡¯s emotion or what ability do you have to communicate with people very well?
If you want to communicate with people very well, you should listen to someone's words carefully. Some people often pretend to listen to someone's words. After that, they say, "I listened to your words carefully." Let's look at a hypothetical situation in which your friend got a scolding from a teacher and whined to you. Although he(or she) made you feel tired, maybe you can¡¯t ignore his(or her) words.
As a result, you can come up with an alternative way. You can pretend to listen to their words. There is a famous proverb, ¡°In one ear and out the other.¡± However, soon, they become aware that you pretend to listen to their words. They can confirm the contents of their words from you, but you can't remember the contents. Of course, you excuse them by saying, "I listened to your speaking carefully." Consequently, they would be very disappointed in you because they believed you listened to their words carefully. They would not believe you anymore, and they would not tell you about their inside stories in the future. It is like missing an opportunity of communicating with them.
What I want to say to you is that you should not pretend to listen to someone's words but that you should try to listen carefully. Pretending to listen is clearly different from listening closely. If you have no time to listen to someone's words carefully, you need to tell them firmly, ¡°Let's talk later.¡± Of course, it is not easy to reject your friend who starts a conversation with you heartily. You might feel as if you are not considerate of their emotion by rejecting their conversation. However, I think that it is enough to be considerate of their emotion by expressing whether you are ready to listen to their words or not. I hope that you will become a person who listens to someone's words carefully.
Lee Ha-na , hn32@cbnu.ac.kr